Deep Sadness

I write this blog with the deepest sadness...yesterday afternoon I was once again robbed...this time they got my pictures. Of all the things I have, of all the things they could have taken that is the ONLY thing that breaks my heart. I don't care the camera is gone, I wouldn't have cared if they had taken money...but almost 2000 pictures from my travels in Chile are gone...I wept for hours. I felt stupid...why was it not backed up you say...well, if you will remember two weeks ago I was also robbed...yep, those were the backups, and I made the wrong choise of not switching out my one backed up memory stick...

How did it happen you say...you have to always look out you say...I don't honestly know what else I could have done except stick my camera up my ass to have it not taken *sorry for the vulgarity, but I feel in this situation I can be excused.

My faith and trust in people is waning...I was already travel weary and to have this happen so close to the end is almost unbearable...I spent most of the day yesterday trying to figure out how this could have happened...most of the night beating myself up for being careless, stupid, disorganized *which many of you know for me is very rare....then I thought about it...

Why am I so attached to these photo's...I was there, I saw it all, the images are in my heart in soul...they have already transformed who I am...why am I so attached to this loss...I guess I was looking forward to showing them to all of you, so I am sorry for that...I will try, with my stories, to paint the pictures for you. I hope that the few I have on my blog will help keep the memories alive for me, future travelors, my future children, when I am old and feeble...I am certain they will.

The other reason I think I was so distraught is I actually started feeling creative again, using the camera as a fun tool to tell a story...my story. It upsets me that someone else can take that from me...but then I realized they will never take my stories, just the image of them. I just wish people wouldn't do things like that.

I wonder why I am such a target...is it because I smile...because I wont stop doing that...is it because I have bad Karma...I don't think so, but I will work on it...I actually don't think it is for any reason. Almost ever travelor I have talked to has had something taken...I scoffed when someone said it would happen to me...but they were right and I was wrong. It appears to be a right of passage in the travelor world...you learn to let it go.

I have managed to contact many of the people I travled with in Chile and believe I will get back some of the images ...though a different perspective... it will still be great to have them. I also was fortunate enough to have a very kind Argentine couple lend me their camera for the remainder of my trip...I guess in the end the acts of kindness that are a result of this drama is making me closer to people... which is always better then an image of a person.

These are a few of the last pictures I shot...I had downloaded these odd few to put in my next blog entry...please enjoy...

I am off to the North of Argentina today to see the famous waterfalls...I am happy to get out of Buenos Aries...though a good visit... I have decided I am no longer interested in big cites...I am ready to come home.